Real Writing

As a teacher of writing, I strive to give all of my students -- in writing courses AND in other courses -- opportunities to improve their writing. I provide extensive feedback on drafts in literature courses and in my WGST courses. But how do I deal with writing like this (the first paragraph of an essay, copied exactly as it was submitted, about how the de Beauvoir phrase "One is not born a woman, one becomes one" plays out in our WGST readings this semester):

• According to the famous book: The Second Sex that was written by Simone de Beauvoir. This famous line was used "One is not born a woman, one becomes one." This quote from my view might be interpret as someone who might be born as a female, but later on in their life. They might change their sexuality to being a male because of the things that they learn and experience in life that maybe being a female does not fit their life style, and they like to fix cars, build houses and carry heavy loads like a man. In other cases in which it is classified as norms in society, a female should stay as a female throughout their whole life from the beginning of their birth throughout their learning in life. They should being happy to represent their sexuality as a female and being the sex as they were born with is the way how it should be. In addition to the quote by Beauvoir, there is many discussion about the process of becoming a woman as reflecting back to the quote once again that "One is not born a woman, one becomes one."

Okay, friends, what do I do with five double-spaced pages that read like this?

This student may or may not have had a composition course. This student may or may not understand the material. This student may or may not have achieved a level of literacy (either in English or his home language) to be able to understand or convey complex ideas in writing.

How can I respond in a way that will teach something about the material (that de Beauvoir is talking about the social processes of culture on the individual) and about how to express one's thoughts in writing?

It seems to me that many, many people think "teaching writing" is easy because it just means "checking grammar." But this student's sentences convey many more issues/problems/challenges than just "bad grammar" (of course that's a problem, too). But that "bad grammar" (or more accurately, "bad syntax") is more like "unclear thinking," perhaps.

If we understand the sentence to be the unit of thought, then this writer's thoughts are scrambled, incomplete, preliminary, immature -- or most precisely "inchoate": "from the Latin inchoatus, the past participle of inchoare to start work on, perhaps from in- + cohum part of a yoke to which the beam of a plow is fitted." I love that idea of the yoke: can I help a student yoke his thoughts to words?

More of the definition: "being only partly in existence or operation: . . . especially : imperfectly formed or formulated." This imprefection certainly comes through, although since writing is "endlessly prefectable," we can't expect perfection.

My point, I guess, is to convey the profound challenges in front of me -- and many of my colleagues -- who "teach writing." We are really heroic and underappreciated: our work is misunderstood. I'd call it "sisyphean" if I were in a bad mood, although I'm not sure what crime we've committed that angered the gods (or even who those gods might be in this all-too-mortally-flawed education system).

(Image from WriteThinking)